Damage Control

 Have you ever impulsively bribed your kids ? well I did recently and then realized in a micro second  (s*** )what I have done !!!
 I wanted M now in grade 2 to revise her spelling lists for an upcoming championship and she was kind of dragging it and ....well to cut the long story short in a desperate moment to motivate her I told her that "she gonna get the book she so wanted to get if she won the championship " oopsssssssss . You see there are so many no nos in this one sentence
1.putting more emphasis on winning than on effort
2.If u do this I'll give you that ...Its a BRIBE not a motivation
3.It implies she has to do it for all the wrong reasons to please ME/ her mom not herself , for winning  not learning etc etc
4.And what if she does not win (  the other kids are smart and hard working too) would I really really want her not to have a book she so wants to have ?? - Like seriously)
5. and what if she does not win and I still get her that book? wont I loose her trust the next time , you know ... mama never follows through so I don't need to take her seriously???
hmmm a lot of damage in one sentence
6. ( Not to mention ) teaching her to bribe others to get things done her way.

Now if you have a young kid at home you'd know they never forget such things, and as the saying goes, you cant bring back a spent arrow and a spoken word this poor mama had to do a lot of thinking if the damage has to be controlled..... and after spending almost half a night thinking and contemplating my options ( OH how I wish I could just tell her to forget what I just said !! ) I came to the conclusion that at this point the best remedy is to simply correct my mistake , apologies tell her that I was going to get her the book anyway, and she should just do her work any way .Simple and I was good to go to bed!

By home time the next day I was again not so easy with my decision -- its not easy to let go of your mama-pride -- and what if all that above stuff is just kitabi batai as many of my friends comment on my parenting ideas...
It only occurred to me the next day while driving them to the book shop (it was a surprise) that this is an opportunity to turn a bribe back into motivation. I asked her if she knew why I brought them here and as nice this 7 year old is , she replied " I know you want to get a book for yourself but may I just look at the books in kids section ) yup kids, smart as they are , they know how to melt mommy's heart. Well lets cut the drama and come to point. I told her; no we are here so that she can get her book BECAUSE she had been working hard all those past weeks and mama just got upset that she was loosing interest now that its almost done, and I am sorry for being ghussa and guess she deserved a treat and a break may be.....  and" " yippie you are the best mom, I wont even read it before I am done with my work"   the rest I guess anyone can imagine :D

 

Result update : Well we are all done with our lists twice ( with 300 English and 200 Urdu words ) and there are still 3 days to the championships 

Exploring 7 habits of happy kids

Ever since I saw 7 habits of happy kids by Sean Covey at readings I fell in love with it esp the habit no. 5 "Seek first to understand and then to be understood". Isn't this the one we lack in general in our society? And then there is this habit no. 4 "Think win win"
I was dying to buy and introduce it to my big girl, but I believe timing plays a very crucial part while introducing something new to a child. Child's readiness to interact and enjoy is as important as anything else that helps absorb a new idea. So I waited and waited for the right time and then BANG! all of a sudden it was out of stock!!

So after a wait of another 2 months or so I found it again  {and this time I couldn't miss it- even though at the time I had no money on me, so I requested them to save me a copy for a day or two -- and they did :) } and then again waited for the right time..... and missed it TADAAaaaa .This time lost the book in home shifting... LOLs, but all for good ! By this time M was dying to have it and read it, yup I showed her the book first time arround and told her she's gonna get it sometime this summer :)
So I had to search the house like mad and finally retrieved it from under a huge pile of books and papers on the CPU slot of this very computer table that I sit every day

nothing & yet every thing to do with "the habits" I guess lols

Now that we got it alright I new we had to do something because my book worm simply eats, drinks, sleeps books if you let her be. But with 7 habits I really really wanted her to eat{read} slowly, digest and absorb.
So what are the seven habits any way?
The 7 Habits of Happy Kids are:

1. Be proactive
2. Begin with the end in mind
3. Put first things first
4. Think win-win
5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood
6. Synergize
7. Sharpen the saw

The best thing is that the book narrates seven stories of seven friends each using -- or not using-- a habit! one at a time. The writer has also provided insight for parents/teachers and baby steps for kids to follow.
Meet The friends to get basic idea  of the habits is

	Habit 1 — Be Proactive You're in Charge I am a responsible person. I take initiative. I choose my actions, attitudes, and moods. I do not blame others for my wrong actions. I do the right thing without being asked, even when no one is looking.
	Habit 2 — Begin with the End in Mind Have a Plan I plan ahead and set goals. I do things that have meaning and make a difference. I am an important part of my classroom and contribute to my school’s mission and vision. I look for ways to be a good citizen.
	Habit 3 — Put First Things First Work First, Then Play I spend my time on things that are most important. This means I say no to things I know I should not do. I set priorities, make a schedule, and follow my plan. I am disciplined and organized.
	Habit 4 — Think Win-Win Everyone Can Win I balance courage for getting what I want with consideration for what others want. I make deposits in others’ Emotional Bank Accounts. When conflicts arise, I look for third alternatives.

	Habit 5 — Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood Listen Before You Talk I listen to other people’s ideas and feelings. I try to see things from their viewpoints. I listen to others without interrupting. I am confident in voicing my ideas. I look people in the eyes when talking.
	Habit 6 — Synergize Together Is Better I value other people’s strengths and learn from them. I get along well with others, even people who are different than me. I work well in groups. I seek out other people’s ideas to solve problems because I know that by teaming with others we can create better solutions than anyone of us can alone. I am humble.
	Habit 7 — Sharpen The Saw Balance Feels Best I take care of my body by eating right, exercising and getting sleep. I spend time with family and friends. I learn in lots of ways and lots of places, not just at school. I find meaningful ways to help others.

I found Ah- Ma-zinG!!! teacher bloggers working wonders  in their class rooms, but with 'the habits' my first stroke of luck was 3rd grade thoughts  she made these cool posters based on habits to decorate her class.And then I got this parents guide from the leader in me along with  a few other resource samples { BTW the samples are enough to get you going}
Well I thought making the posters for M's new room would be a starting point for us and will keep the stories coming along with discussion about many new words that we are learning on the way
Here is what we made for the first habit

Then we read about Inventors the most Prominent Proactors, with our special focus on women inventors, including;

• Mary Anderson (Inventor of Windshield Wipers)
•  Marion Donovan (Inventor of Disposable Diapers)
•  Bette Nesmith Graham (Liquid Paper Inventor)

That made our minds working :) HaHa and when we didnt find glue to do our next activity we made our own!! How PROACTIVE ...Hehehe

With this special glue we worked on the first habit from this story sorting activity from lovely little leaders . Needless to say my bookworm loved it thoroughly. This even gave us opportunity to talk about copyrights and M wanted to ad a link to lovely little leaders to her poster too bad it got hidden under our other lable :(

 Even the lil one joined in, in her own way of course ;)

 Further we are planning to design our own book marks now that M is quiet good with her computer skills I think we can manage it on word pad or paint may be. will update the post once we are done :)

* For a complete free parents guide click here

* to virtually visit a school using 'leader in me' program please click here
* school site
*'Teachers pay Teachers' is another cool site that I found just in case you missed it in above links ;)

Responsibility Shift

Another one of our late updates; we started this month with a fun visit to our favorite bookstore in Lahore "Readings" that deals with new as well as used books. On the first of July, late night we finally decided to take kids and ourselves on an outing without a hope to find any place worth going open and waohoo hoo what we found out !! our favorite store have pushed the closing time 2 more hours and now they are open till midnight :D
Now there is a twist to this happy story. For our growing up miss M going to her favorite book store is a task these days as she is given a limited allowance instead of the old choose and buy as much as you like routine. In that situation the final authority and decision maker was mom or Dad and all she has to do was to load her trolly with millions of books9 half of which she will read in the store). The aim was the gradual shift of Responsibility. But being responsible is a multidimensional task in my opinion one has to learn and master quite a few other basic skills first.
To select and compare, to apply some arithmetical skills, how to manage with in her limits, letting go whats beyond her reach, and most important of all, to trust her own choices.
When the idea was first introduced a few visits back, unexpectedly she started crying and complaining. She didn't  want this change. Her argument was that she wont get enough (in fact any) books when I offered her Rs.200 as her first allowance. Actually her reluctance was coming from the fear of unknown, she didn't know a thing about prices! (other than where to find the tags).The catch was that I will not interfere in any way and she can BUY which ever book she wants the only thing was that it shout not cost more than the given limit.
 We did fine on the first shopping expedition brought two books after much evaluation, discussions and promises for the future 
Now after 2 visits it is clear that it was too big a sum for her and the only books she was picking up books from the first Rack, all new, with fancy sticker, princesses/famous cartoon books that were worth 200 or above each without even being bothered to explore the store.while there are hundreds of other amazing books most of them priced less then Rs. 50/- used of-course but in good condition!. So I gradually reduced the allowance and now she is supposed to spend max Rs.60/- per visit and what fine books she hunts now despite the strong air conditioning in the "used" section!!!
 Some of M's recent finds are

Moral: Necessity is the mother of all inventions...including behavior and choices ---lols

Tot Batote....

Guess the first week of our library and what did I find!!! "tot batot "(that's the best I can spell it in English)....It was my fav character from Urdu poems and was I delighted to find it after ages in Library last week. M liked the rhymes and though the illustrations in this book are a bit below average and there are only 4 or 5 images that are irrelevantly placed on random pages, still we love it.... for Sufi Tabassum's gems

so for now we are just relishing our discovery... its amazing to see how everyone at our home is loving it (the poems NOT the book)

Need to find the old version, The one that we had in our personal collection... anyone any Idea

Vacations!!! Finally

After two very very hectic weeks finally we are free and at M's grand parents in Hyderabad for vacation and M is having a blast. A new place , full time available parents, grand ma to appreciate and praise each and every utterance, so many cousins of her age (to play and Fight), open out doors, birds, cats, "baby cows", and dogs and sheep and what not!!! WoW ! so M sure is busy and very very happy :)

As for me I am even happier as i got two books that I longed for, the first one is "Letters for Emily " by Camron Wright . I so desperately wanted this so that i can pass it on to M when she grows old ... Ya it sure is that type of a book...only that i am not sure at what age should i give it to her ? well i guess i have plenty of time to decide that. The second one is "Teaching Montessori in the home" by Elizabeth G. Hainstock again I wanted this for M ( that's pretty obvious) I read its review online and it appeared to be a great book on homeschooling basics but the actual book is even better than my expectations.

Sanam, My sister in Law bought these for me on my request as I could never possibly find them here in Pakistan and the shipping charges were much too higher than the original price so i wouldn't ever dare to order them online..... A big Thank you to Sanam... I love you for this :)

FunFelt Book

To satisfy my latest obsession with felt board, yesterday I finally found (surprise surprise coz we usually don't have such stuff here in Pakistan) and right away bought this extremely cute Felt story book "Monkey's Tall Story" by Keith Faulkner. It is illustrated by Jonathan Lambert and has more than 35 felt jungle figures.. initially I was not planning to show this book to M yet because i thought she is too young to understand the concept of creating a story as it is being told.Pluss it had animals that are small and in silhouettes So i was afraid she either wont recognise them or the large number wont let her concentrateBut I was surprised to see that she can actually recognize many animals and had a lot of fun creating her own jungle on the small felt board provided in the book while i read the story to her.
hmmm this just reinforced my interest to create a felt board for her!!
she even put the pieces back after wards isn't that neat !!!

Latest Additions

Some new additions to M's picture book library, I got three of them from "Readings" just for Rs.145 !!! the other two " Nickel Nackel Tree and Over in the Meadow " (M's favorite) also came from a second hand book store just for Rs.100. and wow all of them are as good as new and M has the pleasure to select them !!

provides plenty of visual stimulation to M, we talk about the birds and fish and stars and frogs and God know what not.....its an amazing world and M loves to look at pictures and point out at her beloved friends...." shish"," khat" (cat), "boiii" (ball), "sttah"(star), "buurrds" birds.......

and it needs a lot of stamina and patience to read "over in the meadow" some 20 or 30 times in a row, and then again "shish" buurrrds".......

She loves the fish and the Ducks best

the funny thing is that no matter how much i appreciate her love of books i end up hiding them...to end the session ;)

happy reading :)