|child led play -early morning bonfire with parlor parlor|
“for these bachas I am happy at least they get to meet each other , its better than kitty parties anyway where waili ladies meet strangers in search of future rishtas for their kids ( as one such lady explained to me recently –uff her explanation!!! ) -- While they leave the bachas with maids and male servants---( to do with them as they please )
and pressed enter but Baaanggg!!! My Internet was not working anymore so I had to retry and it was still stuck so as annoyed as I was I just turned the flap down .
But the comment and the post were still there hanging in my head I wasn’t really satisfied with my answer. It is one topic I can go on and on about coz things are not as simple or as straight forward as they may seem on FB. A coin may have two sides our parenting issues have a million. I thought about kids my children age and the routines they usually have and I thought about their mothers, I thought about our changing society and its complications, the education systems and the limited opportunities our kids get in terms of structured as well as unstructured play time.
And by the time I also thought that may be me and some of my friends are being judgmental here. I am not so happy about the Idea of play dates in the first place because the Initial encounter with some Pakistani play date moms was of a bunch of affluent ladies who took a foreign Idea and to make it exotic, giving it local themes like “ guddi guddai ki shadi” “ paindo” “pranda party” And such. Now if someone selected these as their kids birthday themes instead of Rapunzel and Frozen ( cause they wanted kids to have a flavor of their culture) I would never have questioned BUT play dates?? Well why not if they get to learn how to make parands and made some…. but seriously is it a play date where moms or one hosting mom decides the theme gets the arrangements done by designers with a proper ( read expensive) mehndi decor, professional singers/entertainers, Party Favours, dance floor, HSY and Maria B joras especially bought for the occasion, in short an occasion worth being photograph by Irfan Ahson himself…. My point is that what do kids have to do in all this? And what will they get out of it? Not to mention the pressure it puts on other moms to beat the previous one in terms of extravagance
I for one always thought that play date is simply an opportunity for kids to get together whether the rest of the activities are planned or not. It is something that is primarily for the kids and not for moms to be used as an opportunity to be the talk of the town.
When I say that “please I am not interested in a play date” it’s because…
1. First and most important is the one I mentioned above it’s a big NO NO for me
2. If not the above then It seems I am usually the one who is “supposed” to host with almost no help from other moms coz apparently I enjoy the life and kids more and they are all so tiered with God knows what pressures and need a break.
3. It’s very easy to explain the idea of a play date but it’s tough to get the message through. The host is supposed to entertain the adults more than kids (dads also needs break and would love biryani and korma… app kai hath ka :P) if not then majority won’t show up/ send their kids
4. It only give kids limited opportunity in terms of socializing like we are in a way dictating as to whom they can play and whom they cannot… like if the “guests” have a chota lerka/larki as “help” they are supposed to sit in the corner and I will give him food their not with the rest of kids and won’t include him in the activities oh! The benefits of play date are just for kids of certain classes not servants…. Or poor neighbors you see.
Now being that said let me come back to the original issue “what do I have to say about the play dates mom Lahore”
1. Nothing negative as I yet do not know who they are and what is their take on a play date
2. I would love to join and know
3. I assume they know what a play date is ( like not an entertainment session for biryani devouring daddies)
4. I actually admire them, even if they are the designer type( they might have taken it to a whole different -for me wrong- level) at least they or many of them I assume are conscious moms who want to actively contribute to their children’s lives , who know that their kids are missing on actual play due to limited outdoor activities or too much of electronic gadgets in their lives
5. If many of us ( moms and dads who think like me – I am sure there are plenty out there) join the circles then may be just maybe we could restore the sanity to it
So what do you say my friends don’t give in too early or too easily these kids – all of them , not just our own- are going to make our society/ nation tomorrow. Don’t just sit there in the couch and sulk get up take charge and contribute J